Hi. Just wanna share this cause I just realized that I literally have 0 guy friends and I'm really distant to guys (even gays).

So here's the thing. First of all I'm a guy in early adulthood. I was raised in a very feminine household, just me, my 5 older GIRL siblings and my mom because my dad before was working on a different country.

So when I started studying, some of my teachers and aunts are actually asking me why is it that all my friends in school were girls. Like, literally parang squad talaga ng girls and I'm the only boy. Those girls are actually thinking that I'm straight because syempre, I was young and really confused pa so di I don't know who I am. But I really was happy with the company of girls and they were happy with me as well cause they told me I'm fun to be with.

Fast forward, highschool. My dad already went home na to work here in Ph nalang so kumpleto na ulit kami sa bahay. So since it's highschool, new setting so I thought baka this time magkakaroon na ako nf barkadang puro kami lalake. But no. It never happened. All throughout my highschool life, all my close friends were still girls. Whenever they ask me bakit lagi babae kasama ko, I always answer na "puro babae kasi kapatid ko so sanay ako makisama sa girls". I have classmates na lalake na nakakapansinan rin naman but it's just when we need things from Each other like assignment, groupworks pero other than that, wala talaga akong close na lalake even with my cousins.

And biiiitch. My dad and I never really became close (until now). It's always small talks between me and my father. When he left wala pa akong consciousness and I was like 10 years old already when he went home for good.

In college. SAME. Never had guy close friends kahit sa mga gay na feminine. I really can't bond with them kasi something's in me na parang di magka guts to talk to them and them to me as well.

Si ito, now that I'm already working. Just same old pattern. Yung mga workmates kong guys, laging nagsasama during breaks for yosi and other stuff and kung day off, gala and inuman din sila while here I am, attending my girl friends' parties.

Don't get me wrong, I am soooooo happy being close with girls. I identify myself bisexual. Idk, it just makes me insecure na kahit yung mga gays merong close na guys but me, I really can't do it.