This is an interesting topic that I have by heart, common 'to sa gay scenes and also exists within the Filipino gay community, and I would like to share about it. And it's also one of the canon ng mga queer teenagers. I'm 18M and had a lot of experiences in encountering older men from the past years. I know it's a taboo topic, pero may kabuluhan naman 'tong pagusapan.

Insert natin ang movie na Call Me By Your Name. My favorite movies, kaya siguro pumatok 'to kasi maraming nakaka-relate, including me. It talks about a relationship between a 16 and 24 year old dude and their romantic, and heightened sexual shit, tapos itong Elio (16), na attached kay Oliver (24), and to Elio he was so heart-broken when Oliver left like their stuff "it's not much," but to Elio it was everything (or at least as how it's commonly interpreted). It shows the common gay teen experiences to older guys exactly how it is, kaya maraming relate. Which is isa nga ko roon.

During SHS and I was 17 at that time, at na-mention ng mutual friend namin ng first love ko noon (he was 18M at that time), na noong 17 daw siya he was talking to a 27 year old, and I jokingly brushed it off to her na normal na 'yon sa mga gay teens. Pero joking aside, as much as it's taboo and socially forbidden nowadays yung gano'ng mga relationships, we can't deny the reality na it's prevalent to the common young queer experiences. Hindi naman sa sinasabi ko na I support these stuff nor I am against, I just wanna discuss and share about it, kasi yung prevalence nito sa komunidad natin, hindi naman siya yung katulad sa mga age gap relationships ng mga straight, na often times plain grooming lang din, but it means a more different and more significant experience to queer people.

Kung sa straight age gaps, it mostly plainly consists of predatory or like yung preference lang ng mga older men sa younger, and vice versa and shit, pero kasi kung sa gay age gaps, it's also that, pero it's much more nuanced, it's more about the experience of a young gay boy who's wanting the attention and love, he didn't get growing up as a gay kid, and/or yung nuanced exploration and awakening ng mga young gay teens, tapos yung older dude naman is about his desire and connection to a younger one for some and so many reasons. Kaya maganda ang pelikula na Call Me By Your Name because it specifically and exactly shows, kung paano ba talaga yung ganitong uri ng mga relasyon sa'tin, it distincts itself from the plain predatory (for the lack of a better term) straight age gap relationships, to the different and more genuine or connecting dynamic ng gay age gaps.

And I wonder bakit prevalent to sa community natin. I, myself, experienced it many times, it's prevalent to me too, but it's interesting how it's a universal experience among gay teens, for the same reason as mine to desire older guys. I do admit na nagkaroon din ako ng daddy issues noon, pero as I grew older I became completely healed and more mature, and I don't have this trauma na. Although, I'm also curious sa POV ng mga older guys why they're into younger gays, like of course alam ko rin but to a bit lang, but I really wanna know the POV ng mga older men as to exactly why.

Talking about my experience, would be generic about it na lang, pero few years back, I have talked and engaged in online encounters with a lot of different older men. I have connected with a lot of them too, although noon I wasn't proud of the experience, but now I could say na I'm happy that I have experienced it, I find it fascinating and beautiful din kasi I get to connect and see each people's lives, getting to know their stories and feel them as a person. Of course, like Elio nakakasakit din to my part to an end, and me to older guys din, but it is what it is. It's really an interesting experience.

And now at this age again na I went back sa dating scene, I have also talked to a couple of older Filo men din. Mga ka-edaran ko and those who's a bit more older, and whatnot. Actually I'm just recent sa online Pinoy gay dating when I came back, and it's sad knowing na a lot of these older Pinoy guys who comes to my DMs, are discreet and in a relationship like married gano'n, cheating kumbaga, and I would always politely decline once I knew. It's a bit shocking kasi yung mga kaedaran nila na kinakausap ko noon na mga AFAM, puro sila single, maybe I guess it's just prevalent sa culture natin na at that age may asawa na.

Pero ayon, I think this would be a wonderful discussion din, since I'm also curious sa gay age gap scene dito sa 'Pinas. Would you also share your thoughts? Sorry din for wrong grammars and spellings, I'm a bit tired.