He's my classmate in one GenEd course this sem— a required social science class. I'm from engg, he's in business. Batchmates.

First day pa lang ng class, introduction, he already somewhat caught my attention na. Not because he's the conventionally-pogi classmate that would make others swoon at the sight of him (although I'd argue he looks good, still), but only because he's the tallest (6"0"). He's also near me all the time, choosing to sit a row directly behind me.

The sem passed by in a blur without much happening. But I noticed na we're often the ones reciting in class. I genuinely enjoyed the course and how I could incorporate STEM ideas into the discussion, kaya siguro marami akong nasasabi. Hindi ko rin inaakala na marami siyang masasabi. Business and soc sci don't really go well together, but he made it work when he talks. And he doesn't just talk— he minces words with wit and depth.

Kahapon lang, we had our final exam together. it was in a different room, and we were multiple classes fit together in a small room. I ran a little bit late. Pagkarating ko, wala akong maupuan. By some chance and divine timing, he saw me enter the door, called my name (I didn't expect him to remember my name), and motioned to the empty chair beside him. We took the exam beside each other.

We were among the last people to leave the room— him leaving earlier than I did. I passed my sheet, went out the classroom, and lo and behold, he's still waiting outside on his phone. He was the first one to break the ice— how was the exam? I answered na oks lang. For sure madali lang sa kaniya 'yon kako.

Tinanong ko siya kung may exams or deadlines pa siya next week. Marami pa raw. I wished him good luck. Tinanong ko rin siya kung bakit 'di pa siya umuuwi (hapon na kasi 'yon), tapos sabi niya, ayaw daw muna niyang bumalik sa acads mode. Fair. Pahinga nga naman muna.

Niyaya niya akong maglakad-lakad, and I agreed kasi malapit sa sakayan ko. We talked, for a while, but it felt nice. I'm not the type to make friends with people from my GE classes, and naiinggit pa nga ako minsan sa mga taong nagpo-post ng gano'n, but there I was having the chance to befriend a GE classmate.

Now before we parted ways, he said something that I still think about now. Baka kasi mali lang ako ng dinig. He said, "sana makita pa kita next sem. We didn't have the chance to talk in class, but you were an interesting one and I wish we talked more." I returned his kind words saying same, then I rode aboard the jeepney.

Now, I could have just forgotten about this, but I'm choosing to write this down to process really what I'm feeling at bakit nangingiti pa rin ako ngayon. My conclusion is this: while I don't really see myself as a gay guy, maybe I developed a crush on him, albeit a light one, and our interaction made me consider the chance of shooting my shot with him. I know malabo ito, and that we probably wouldn't be chatting anymore after this sem, but I'm just so happy to have shared that afternoon with him. He's a nice guy, and I'm sure people around him are lucky to have him around.

As for me, I'll try to be around kahit magkalayo buildings namin. That is if I muster the courage to contact him haha bahala na. I'll figure this feeling out soon enough.