I just wanted to let my feelings out. I don’t really feel like voicing it out to my friends bc they might say im a drama queen. So i matched with this cute guy on tinder. He’s really pogi. Conventionally attractive guy. 5’9, moreno, goes to the gym, meanwhile im this chubby guy na face card lang ang laban. After days of talking and flirting we decided to meet up for a cute date last Saturday. I mentioned I love Japanese food so we decided to eat at Kodawari.

The date. I was so anxious prior meeting him because I’ve met guys like him before and i always know the ending. But thru self encouragement I canceled all those thought and felt confident about myself. I dressed up really good put on a light make up and used my fave perfume. I was really trying to look good since he is a 9/10 and I’m a 6.

Fast forward, we met. We hugged and said hi to each other. And we found a table. When we decided to order at the counter, he grabbed my waist. This was the first time someone did this to me. I got kilig. And he kept me really close to him. So I was getting optimistic for this date. When we sat down, he stared at my face and he said I looked cute today and my makeup looks nice even after sweating (from walking around the mall and getting lost) That made me smile and felt comfy.

We ate and talk and talk about random things (work,hobbies,life in general) i was feeling really good about this. After that we roam around the mall. Went to a couple of stores and he asked if I was down to watch wicked. Ive seen the movie twice but im down for a third watch. So we bought tickets, he even offered to pay for it but I refused.

During the movie, we were holding hands the whole time. He even kissed me on my cheeks once. & we also smooch a little kiss. We were having a good time watching the movie. He put his arms around me and I did the same.

After the movie, we got out of the mall. We were just smiling and staring at each other. Then we hugged. I said to myself, “ i kinda like this guy” and i was assuming he was thinking the same. And then I airdrop my digits to him so we can talk outside tinder already. And wired him for the movie tickets. After that he asked if I wanted to walk. So we did. While we’re working he grabbed my waist again and I stared at him god the butterflies i felt in my stomach. There was even this one guy who smiled bc we were infront of him. So we walked lang and found a bench. We sat and while waiting for a grab, we talked again. We discuss things about the movie. Sang the iconic lines. And then he asked if I can airdrop our photos, and I did. I said we looked cute.

Then we just hugged before siya sumakay sa grab. And i already tell it just from the hug but i shrugged it on my shoulders. I was just over analyzing it. Then tomorrow came. He messaged if I got home safely from last night what he didn’t know is I sent him a message right after i got home. After that I asked if him how was last night. And then he just said. “I’m sorry but I dont think there’s a second date” I didn’t know what to feel. At first I was in denial of my feelings thinking “ Well I anticipated this, it will never work. He’s attractive and I’m not.” And more self sabotage “I’m just that ugly. I’m not his type.” I asked for the reason. And he said He just didn’t feel the connection thats he’s looking for. After all the things he did? I reciprocated all of em.

Now, I’m just confused at what aspect did he asses to come up with that. I wanted to ask if he can still give me a second chance but thats begging and I know my value and it’s not that low. I deleted his contact and unmatched him from the platform. I chose to disconnect and it’s for my sanity.

I’m gon forget about him I know I will but i just wanted to process my feelings bc rejection is painful. It sucks. But i guess we just have to move on and keep going.

If you ever come across this post, It was great, I had fun. You made me confused tho. Don’t act too hastily next time.