You look at yourself in the mirror and hate the person staring back at you. The wrinkles and fine lines  around your eyes, the dark spots on your skin, and double chin  You feel like Mulan because damn, the reflection you see is someone you don’t know. You can’t help but ask, “WTF happened?” When did you let go? 

You start feeling insecure every time you open your social media accounts because all you see are these guys with 6-packed abs and 6-inch dicks with clear skin. You want them (preferably inside you) and you want to be just like them. But… where do you even start? You are not blessed with classic good looks and you can't even afford to buy those skincare products that appear while scrolling your fyp. The moisturizers, AHA, BHA, retinols, collagens, and whatever new product that’s trending, promises to give you that clear skin only a late 2010 IG filter could achieve… I miss the old days when Madam Auring's soap was relevant. I mean, what's more organic than Pawis ng Palaka, Dahon ng Makahiya, and Katas ng Kakawete to rejuvenate that glow.

You tell yourself that you’re not ugly, you’re just poor but you can’t even afford a facial let alone surgery to fix everything you see in front of the mirror every day. Maybe you can just workout. I mean, might as well have a great body if you feel like your face card will leave you in debt. But… where do you even find time to go the gym when you're exhausted from your 9 to 5 job. On top of that, you have to spend hours and hours commuting to and from work. Your meager salary won't even cover a membership to the gym because you have to cover so many bills. You want to go out for drinks so that you could unwind but the prices the drinks nowadays are so high. You want to go on dates but you don't feel like exposing yourself. You start feeling depressed because you’ve gained a lot of weight since the pandemic and you cope with the depression by stuffing your mouth with junk food. It’s a cycle and you’re trapped. Your skin starts breaking out, your hairline is receding and you just really want to crawl under the sheets every single night and sleep. You want to forget. How can you manage your time if you don’t have enough of it. I think that’s the sort of bs only the rich people could confidently say. The alarm wakes you up and you feel that sense of dread just thinking about the day ahead. You’re terrified of the fact that you're stuck in this hellhole and terrified of that fact that you couldn't pull yourself out of it. The next thing you know you're in you’re in your late 30s and it's already too late for you to start over again.

Lastly, where can I find the substance? Asking for a friend.