Hi, Reddit! I hope you give this a read. First public post so allow me to open up to my community for once. As the title suggests, I want to seek a few perspectives whether I should try dating apps again.

I haven’t really seeked romance before. Not because I was asexual or anything. It just was not a priority for me at that time, even during my teenage years. I was academically busy, and I chose to hang out with a group of friends instead of going on dates. A factor may also be because we often move as a family, so I never get the opportunity to get involved in such things and I’m pretty firm with what I look for in a guy and gets easily disinterested when I know there is a very low chance. I have a few good, big time crushes though in high school, one of which even danced me to prom. But they were never boyfriend material to me, or at least there wasn’t really an avenue for reciprocation of interest (some of them were straight too)

Lately, however, I feel like the romantic needs I deprived myself during my teenage years slowly creep back to me as I grew older. I have always been comfortable with my own company. I go to solo dates alone. If I feel a little lonely, I have my friends and my cousin who are a call away so keeping a social relationship and time alone has been always kept in balance. But I feel like behind this facade of being quite an independent, career driven personality of mine is someone who’s longing for a more intimate relationship.

I tried Tinder and Bumble in 2020 (yes, I was underage that time). There is that immature kilig and validation and conversations we have been longing for while quarantined. As I looked back though, they were nothing but just that, conversations because we’re all bored. It also does not help that I don’t fit the current landscape of dating where you have to be cute in social media, and go on very sponty dates, or be hyper sexual.

At a young age, I have grown to be such a vanilla. Meaning, I think of my ideal partner being as goal-oriented and whole as I am right now. I am not into a relationship where one won’t function without the other. I want my partner to be his own person, and myself as my own person, and together we inspire ourselves to reaching our goals. Even though this setup would mean we won’t go out and meet every single day, or be carefree and going with the flow.

I want a relationship built around trust that despite busy schedules and boring days, we have each other as partners who could rely on and love one another and talk whenever we’d like to and meet whenever schedules align and compromise where needed.

It reads as very boring and it’s not for everyone, I know. That’s why I have been hesitant to try dating apps because I feel like if I can’t offer something that pleases social media, or something sexual to offer, then I’d get a low chance of success. I also don’t want to use my workplace as my dating pool.

So what do you think, Reddit? Are my preferences valid and has a chance in dating apps? Or do I have to open myself up beyond what I look for, even though it might not be something that I’d last long in?

If you want to know more somehow, here’s me: - 21 y.o. gay man and is comfortable with my feminine side when I feel like it - 5’2” slim stature - my colleagues and previous matches often address me as cute (not sure now when I lost my teenage features) - NBSB and never had any sexual encounters and prefers cuddles / spooning (medyo scared pa for sex) - working at a graveyard corpo job - plays online games sometimes - fairly outgoing if schedules permit, but is more of a homebody and likes casual dates