Do you ever get frustrated with attempting to find someone to love you? Maybe, a burn out from dating? Because I do.

I’m tired and I’m frustrated with it. I’m 24/M and until now wala pa rin akong ‘minahal’ or what. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried to put myself out there. Name it, I’ve done it. Tinder? Check. Bumble? Check. Grindr? Check. Mutual friends? Check. Club? Check. Orgies? Check. Almost lahat na, pati spa naikot ko na wala pa rin. I think naging desperado ako (obvious naman ata) pero ngayon parang pagod na ako… Pero sometimes kahit alam ko na pagod na ako, may mga days si tanga, magtatry pa rin makipad date or makikipag hook-up thinking na baka naman magka developan after sex (hindi naman, ilusyanado lang) and para sa physical connection and affection. Pero after I leave, I felt and still feel… empty.

So you, as reader, may think- ah baka panget yung OP. I think hindi naman. I’m 5’8, 73 kg, versa, with nice body i think (i workout everyday), cute glasses, nice smile, came from good family and school and finished top of my class. mabait naman ata ako. I’m not perfect but I’m definitely a pwede na which allowed me to date or hook up with models and good looking guys.

To be honest, may fault din ako, medjo mataas expectations ko. Someone from Makati sana, 5’6 and above, with glasses, someone lean. For short, mahirap din talaga pumasa. Pero at this point, kahit sino na lang talaga. Basta lean and mahal ako from good family.

Wala lang, maybe pagod lang ako kaya nasulat ko to. Pagod ako mag try. Lord naman. Maayos naman akong tao, I did some bad things pero I couldn’t be THAT bad. Anyways, yun lang. Pagod lang ako. Puta, ang hirap.