If you'd tell my old self what I've become now, he would surely call it bull.

I was this nerdy, goal oriented, student leader type of guy way back in college. The role model student as many people claim me to be. I've been in that stagnant stage for a long time, until the worst heartbreak happened. I am partnered for 4 years, almost 5. During that time, I was in the early adulthood, feeling malaki yung naging epekto nun. Kasi dun sa age na yon, you're learning to do adult things. Fixing your legal IDs, reviewing for boards, passing the boards, eventually working.

I had my partner behind my back while I was doing all those. To make the story short, I got really dependent. I can't even do anything alone. I have no sense of "me-time." To be honest, it was never an issue to me. I liked it.

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Not until he admitted that he's been cheating on me 2 years out of our 4 year-relationship. And the he dumped me. It ruined everything for me. My routine. My hobbies. I can't even do anything alone because we used to do everything together.

That became a big problem for me.

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I've moved on from what happened. It's been a year or so. I've moved on from him.

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Pero I got so desperate looking for love. And I was definitely looking for it in the wrong places. I've spent so much for premium subscriptions of dating apps, paid boosts, even went to NSFW Spas just to feel the temporary love and attention.

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I'm so broken as a person and I don't know how to fix me. I feel so lost. It's been a year and I don't even know what hobbies I like. What I wanna do during my spare time. I don't even knoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow anymore.

yun lang bye.,...