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I am starting to question my sexuality
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Hello, I'm 19f, growing up, I never questioned my sexuality at all. Nagkakagusto ako mostly sa mga lalaki, as in lahat ng nagugustuhan ko lalaki. I then concluded na I'm totally straight and hetero ako.

Not until in the present, I am a college freshman na. Napapansin ko lang na parang hindi na lang ako sa lalaki nagkakaroon ng attraction, pero parang sa babae na din yata. Everytime na may nakakasalubong akong magandang babae (hindi naman sobrang ganda talaga, parang subjectively maganda lang), I think about them the day after tapos I daydream about them doing some romantic things with me just like naglalakad while naghoholding hands sa mall and etc.

I don't want to label myself ngayon kasi takot akong ma mislabel yung sarili ko. Nahihirapan din akong maka relate sa ibang tao na bi/lesbian kasi mostly sa kanila already knew na they weren't straight at all nung nasa mga bata or teenage stage pa sila, pero ako, hindi ko naexperience yun at all, ngayon lang ako nag question about sa sexuality ko talaga.

I just want to ask if normal lang ba to? I always ask myself if ano ba talaga sexual orientation ko, sa tingin ko straight, pero at the same time nahihirapan akong sagutin sya. Parang nasanay na din kasi ako sabihin na straight ako since lumaki ako sa isang heteronormative na pamumuhay.

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9 months ago