Last night my friend gave me tarot reading coz I’m kinda teaching him coz we’re into astrology and shit.

I asked about my love life, apparently I’m being fake with guys which is somehow true.

The thing is I have this facade of being the cool, chill, unbothered, and happy-go-lucky vibe to them. I don’t usually share things like my struggle, what I really feel, talk to them on deeper level. I just let them talk to me about how they feel. It’s like I don’t show any vulnerability. It’s my way to cope from the things that happened before.

I was that kind of person who really share things sa mga nakausap ko before. Like, show talaga ng vulnerability pero mostly hindi naman pala interesado in the first place. So I learned na I have to limit myself para hindi Sayang unn pag share ko. I also have this image sa kanila na I couldn’t careless if nandyan or mawala ka. My friend also told me na I have this weird confidence na it seems fake na it turns out I tend to scare guys away. Hahahahaha

Tbh, okay lang sakin kasi I have to protect myself din and I have this fantasy na the right guy can see through my bullshit.

Call me hopeless romantic or delusional pero I feel like the right person for me will see that everything is bs.

“Your bullshit don’t work on me, I can see right through you.” Ugh

I know naman na I’m a sensitive, fragile, depressed, kulang sa kalinga na person. Kaya I’m hiding it kasi I don’t want guys to take advantage of it.

Anyway, I know the right person is out there. Willing to wait naman po ako pero baka overdue na.