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[Meta]- I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can see why men are bitter on here
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TurbulenceMatters is in META
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As someone who has posted on here once and on other r4r subreddits, it always annoys me when a guy says "oh well i hope you're real", like what are you talking about of course im real???? I may have came to this realization a little late but yea some women can have a decent post on here that seems genuine, but they aren't real.

I messaged a girl who had a super convincing post I was for sure she seemed genuine, so i just said hey good luck! and then she sent me a generic message about her doing something not good and I was shocked! And now I do understand guy's frustration on her when you want to connect with someone, and they end up wanting something else (I'm saying it in vague terms so my post doesn't get flagged or anything)

I will say i think the mod is good at catching posts like that and good at responding to dms , but yea i can see why its hard to trust when a girl post on here. Even then though don't be rude about towards me lol don't let your bitterness deter you from talking to actual women who post on here, but I do sympathize with men on here.

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Just a reminder here, if anyone does spot anything amiss, please make sure to report it to the mods. We try to stay out of peoples' way as much as possible, but we're always here to help when needed!

The issue with negativity/bitterness is actually something we'd like to further address as well; we've gotten feedback from other users and even our own team finding it rude to have their legitimacy questioned in every initial message. This is often self-defeating; starting off with an assumption of bad faith is a solid way to ensure that only those who are here for illegitimate reasons will respond. We understand those with ill motives are frustrating to encounter, but taking it out on other members of the community isn't doing any good for anyone; believe me, I've had more times than I can count where a long and seemingly normal chat took an unsignaled turn into that spiel about gas money or the kid and that damned XBox. So, consider this instead: Lead with the positives, ask questions, try to start a discussion with someone. Check out some of our own members' advice posts too. There are great people here to be found; don't let the bad guys get you down!

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Yeah, I've had some nasty ones lately, who'll try to get you to drive to a location and buy some drinks/protection/etc., before finally springing the trap; exploiting the sunk-cost fallacy, since you're already invested. These are usually pretty easy to spot, if you keep a close eye; insisting on meeting at a private residence is a huge red flag, and more often than not, it'll be that particular ploy.

We're working on a guide, and hope to cover some of this advice in it as well.

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2 years ago