My mom died in October. I have days where I can do things, days where I can cook a bit, and other days where I don't want to cook, eat or get out of bed or go anywhere. I need to get a job and I can't do it while I'm like this, luckily I haven't gotten any responses to my applications yet except one rejection. It being the winter and gray most of the time isn't helping. Yes I'm taking vitamin D. No that isn't an inuendo. I would really like someone to talk to, do things with, hang out. Hell even just sitting in the same room together reading our own books would be fine. As long as Vangelis is playing in the background, or something. I would prefer it if you were near me so it doesn't have to be a huge event to meet up to do things. I'm, 5'9 white (german and peurto rican), 176lbs approximately (I'll get on my scale after I hit post.. maybe). I biked a lot up until the past month and a half and want to get back in the gym if I can just get myself out of this pit I am stuck in. I turned my mom's room into a gym room and barely use it because of this whole grief issue. I know having someone in my life would help me move forward. In fact I'm starting to think its the only thing that will help so you could be saving my life here. I'm trying to be mindful and I have a therapist and youtube to try to figure it out but what I really need most is just someone there in my life. At least if I have a friend I can say I'm alive because I'm so and so's friend. I'm the kind of person that has to be there for someone or I don't have a purpose. Anyway, I hope this post results in something. Time to try to do a thing on 5 hours of sleep.
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- 1 year ago
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