Help! 😭 Hahahuhuhaha

I’m becoming toxic dahil sa stress ko sa office. Yung kinaka-stressan ko ay yung pagka-disorganized ng team namin tas yung super lack of leadership ng supervisor namin. For organizational context, our team follows this setup: supervisor > senior > junior. So I’m the junior staff na naiinis sa (for lack of a better term to summarize everything) incompetence ng mga senior and supervisor. Obviously they’re not totally incompetent but for additional context we work sa government.

The thing with government work environment is ang (daling maging) complacent ng mga tao kasi (or lalo na kung) permanent ka naman na sa position mo at hindi ka basta-basta matatanggal sa trabaho (unless we’re talking about grave misconduct like corruption). Wala rin masyadong motivation to make effort na ayusin ang trabaho, ayusin ang sistema, and generally just do better kasi PBB (performance based bonus) is a joke, performance rating (at least in our office) is a joke, whether mag-perform ka o hindi ay tataas sahod mo dahil sa salary standardization law, and wala namang opportunity na ma-promote unless mag-retire, mamatay, o mag-migrate yung position higher sa’yo. So basically wala talagang extrinsic motivation. Yung mga nage-effort na government employees ay talagang nasa sa kanila na yun.

Anyway back to me. Lol. Sobrang gulo sa grupo namin. Yung supervisor namin, yun sobrang incompetent talaga. Pero mabait. At least mabait pero ang limited ang brain cells. Yung mga seniors ko, competent naman bilang graduate from a top university pero they’re all over the place. I can’t blame my seniors tho kasi nga yung sup namin ay 😩. But since matagal na sila dito, nagiging complicit na sila sa kasabugan ng group namin. And what about me? Talented and beautiful (charot). I’m confident naman sa skillset ko pero nagiging toxic na nga akoooo. Toxic in the sense na madalas nang bad mood, masungit, minsan siguro nadadamay na ang mga clients namin hehe. Papunta na ako sa registrar vibes mga mamser. 😭

So I definitely cannot control my seniors and sup, and I can only manage myself like how I process all these stuff and my emotions ganyan. Sooo may suggestions ba kayo diyan on how I can deal with my emotions and/or our situation sa office? Thaaaanks!!