Please help! I've recently had top surgery and am almost 3 months post op, and my dysphoria was pretty much nonexistent up until a few weeks ago, not in the sense that it just randomly showed up one day, but that my bottom dysphoria was now getting harder and harder to ignore.

I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I want bottom surgery, I know I've been diagnosed by a therapist with GID (gender identity disorder), but I'm not sure if me getting this surgery would just be like I'm copying my husband and best friend who are also trans.

I've always had this notion that for some reason me being trans would take away from others' experiences, even though I know that logically that's not true.

It's hard to picture myself physically as male when I still don't have anything down there. I genuinely feel like I'm SUPPOSED to have something, like there was a mistake somewhere and I'm missing this huge part of me.

I used to be fine with just my packer that also functioned as an STP, but now I'm not so sure. The more I think about it, the more I wish I had a functional penis. (Probably TMI but it's also getting harder and harder to "get there" during spicy times).

I just wish I could stand to pee by myself and not with a packer, I never even used my packer in public restrooms even if they were empty because it caused me so much stress and dysphoria.

My head is just going a million miles a minute and I'm so confused, any advice would be helpful in just sorting through my thoughts, I think I want it, but I'm so unsure if me getting it is absolutely the right thing.