Before I rant, I just wanna give additional context. I am using a dump acc, because some people know my main account.

I just wanna rant because first of all, I am not able to make deep heartfelt connections with anyone. Maybe, this is just a "me" problem because I am not able to form friendships and solidarity either back in high school and elementary. My fam always told me that things will get better in college and that I'll find my people, but no...

All of the so-called "friendships" I have formed so far are either superficial (nabubuo lang dahil sa necessity: either groupmate or partner sa activity) or not that deep (nakakabatian lang sa daan once in a while). I haven't formed anything meaningful. I never get invited to parties or gala with a group. I never get to spill what I really feel, and have a shoulder to rely on... Don't get me wrong, I can still travel around and have fun alone, except I have been doing that for so long na nakakasawa na. It gets worse when I go to fb and ig stories, and I see friend groups having fun with one another... Sometimes, nagcrocross sa mind ko, "If only I could experience that"

Before people comment and counter that college should be about "studies" and focusing on "pag-aaral", I am just doing alright in terms of academics... and I believe that social skills are also an important facet, just as important as academic skills, because social skills are also another factor that can lead one to success in life, especially by just knowing the "right person".

Other people might say I am just an 'introvert' or a 'shy type', but the truth is, I am more what one would call an ambivert, and I wouldn't be ranting about this, if I was more closed off and shunned people. Even then, I've seen other introverts in both my course and other courses, but they are still able to form a solid tight-knit group, albeit smaller. Maybe it's the cliche 'inampon ng extrovert' or 'ka-close na talaga since childhood pa'. Neither luxury I could afford.

Let me just close this off by saying if ganito lang patutunguan ng life ko hanggang umabot ako sa master's degree/job/retirement, I'd miss out on a lot of things that I'd probably regret later on.