I just wanna get this off my chest here. So, kanina lang, nagkaroon yung org ko ng first ever f2f general assembly. And dang, sobra na-out-of-place ako. Wala akong gaanong nakausap. Tapos yung ibang members naman, may sari-sarili na silang grupo habang ako tahimik na lang na umupo sa gilid (as an introverted person huhuhu). Nahiya na'kong maki-butt-in sa convos ng iba eh. Natakot din akong ma-brand as FC since wala talaga akong ka-close sa org.

I just felt isolated kanina even though I was in a crowded room (mga 100 kami). They had their own inside jokes that I didn't even get one bit. It came to a point where I felt so uncomfortable that I just wanted to leave the meeting. Buti na lang patapos na yung meeting by that point so I didn't have to wait that long. Understandable naman yung situation na wala akong ka-close partly due to my personality and partly because malaki nga yung org namin. Na-sa-sad lang ako dahil siguro ito na rin yung naging effect ng pandemic sa orgs. If I were to have joined the applications process f2f, baka sakaling nagkaroon pa ako ng close friend from the org. I tried chatting people before pa eh, pero org work lang talaga napag-uusapan namin and the convos are super short.

Tapos, magwowonder yung org kung bakit ang onti lang ng sumasali sa org events. Mga mhie, baka ito po talaga yung dahilan. Tulad ko, baka andaming nahihiyang sumali ng events kasi baka nga ma-OP lang. Right now, di ko na alam kung kaya ko pang maging active sa org na ‘to, especially if it feels this isolating at the start. I'll try to see it through na lang for the sem since nakapag-active status na uli ako. end of rant