I've been reading a lot recently. Mostly, because although I am incredibly excited to leave for the Peace Corps (I will be serving next year), I've found that I'm also deeply uncomfortable with my own views of what my role is in this project.

Teju Cole, who some of you may be familiar with, wrote a really interesting piece about the white savior industrial complex (link here: http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/03/the-white-savior-industrial-complex/254843/) that I'd recommend anyone serving in the Peace Corps to read. One of his tweets felt especially accurate to me:

“The White Savior Industrial Complex is not about justice. It is about having a big emotional experience that validates privilege.” - Teju Cole

Many of my friends have been very accusatory regarding my decision to join the Peace Corps. Maybe a few years back, I may have agreed with them to an extent (though this has been my dream for many years.) They say that the Peace Corps is, at its essence, a weapon of US imperialism, of legitimizing our feelings of radical exceptionalism, where we are the manifest GIVERS of aid to the world – and the 'developing world,' the others, are always the RECEIVERS of that aid. My friends accused me of seeking a 'validating experience,' a moment of feel-good hypocrisy; of encapsulating the “I have made a difference, I have -helped- these people, I am a good person, I have showed -them- a better way of going about their life” narrative in my actions.

And I was terrified by it.

But I was defiant; the Peace Corps doesn't need to be about that. It is not an inherently 'colonizing' program – it is, in fact, crowded with open minds that are used to having their world views challenged. I was conscious of all of the things my friends and I talked about, but still defiant to make my Peace Corps experience different from the one they criticized. I knew I did not want to go to the Peace Corps to save or to 'develop.'

I want to go the Peace Corps to share. Yes, I will provide my knowledge and services wherever they are deemed useful, yes, I will think informatively and apply my skills with full-fledged effort. But I am not going to the Peace Corps to teach. I am going to learn, and learn with others through my experience there. I am going to interact, to collaborate, to rediscover and amplify my understanding of the world, and to hopefully trigger a valuable inter-cultural dialogue with those who I meet. I hope to destabilize the notion of the young, white American dweeb who saves the world because he knows the worlds needs saving, and we, Americans, are its elected savior. I hope to learn with, alongside, and through this new place, this new people – reposition myself in this equation: not at its center, but at its side, a member of this incredible learning opportunity, but not its protagonist.

It would be amazing to hear what you guys think about this – what alternate ways of viewing your role in the Peace Corps you have, how you frame yourself in this context. And if any of you have struggled with similar ideas, I'd love to discuss some of those too.

Also, if you have the time or are really interested in this stuff, I'd recommend a thesis by Jenna Hanchley I found online... it was an AMAZING read, and very reaffirming in its conclusions. She quotes a bunch of volunteers, and delves deep into the Peace Corps process, its motivations, its approaches, as well as valid new ways to re-approach volunteering from a more conscious, self-reflective way. Here's the link! https://www.academia.edu/1924118/MA_Thesis_-_A_Postcolonial_Analysis_of_Peace_Corps_Volunteer_Narratives_The_Political_Construction_of_the_Volunteer_her_Work_and_her_Relationship_to_the_Host_Country_National

Gimme your thoughts & thanks!