Humans are wierd. In real life, many of my romantic partners have experienced significant trauma and I’ve been a safe, comforting person in their life who they could talk about this trauma with. And now, because of how trauma has showed up in my relationships, I have strong associations between trauma, wholesomeness, and sex.

I’d really like to connect with someone who might have some similar associations and wants to both share their trauma and to hookup. I could see this happening in two very different ways:

In both of these scenarios, we could meet for a coffee or drink first, and we could go our separate ways if there doesn’t seem to be the right kind of chemistry.

1. Softly — You tell me about your trauma like you would a good friend. We’re maybe sitting on a couch together. I may ask you some questions so I can understand you better and to prompt you can share more. I may hug or hold you if that seems right. At some point, after you have shared the things you want to talk about, the energy would shift. We would start kissing and after some time that would roll into some sweet sex that affirms both that there are good, pleasurable things in the world and that you deserve them.

2. Roughly — Before we ever meet we’ll talk about limits. When we first meet you may tell me a little about your trauma earlier in the evening, or you do not. In any case, while we’re fucking I’m going to be asking you questions about your trauma. They may be invasive or degrading. Depending on your limits and what you tell me you want beforehand, I may hold you down, spank you, slap you, spit on you, write on you etc. I will be rough, and it the experience may be intense, but your limits and consent will be respected at all times and

These two options come at the same thing from very different ways, but the goal for us to get the kind of human connection we may want or need right now.

More about me: I’m 30, slim but athletic, a little nerdy, a little goofy, a little alternative, long hair, septum piercing. Always very service-oriented and attuned to my partner’s pleasure. This would be the first time I’ve done something like this before, but I do have significant previous kink experience. I live in SE Portland on Division and am able to host in my comfortable roommate-free apartment.

If you reach out please tell me a little about yourself and what kind of experience you’d like to have.