I’ve been in this lifestyle for 8 years. I’ve seen this kink bend and shift in all sorts of ways and I know it will continue to bend and shift, that’s just how things happen as time progresses and kinks evolve. Something I’ve grown very tired of seeing is how submissives will send to the very first “Domme” they see, without looking into them properly to even validate if that’s the kind of Domme they’re looking for, or if they’re even a real person and then complain that they’ve been burned/scammed/treated poorly in their dynamic. Kink, at its core, is not one size fit all. There are now hundreds of different types of Dommes and it’s up to you, the submissive to really research if the one you’re interested in is for you. Are you looking for a friend type dynamic with someone that provides aftercare? She is out there. You likely won’t find her in the seller that calls you a loser in every post. Are you looking for a classic mean girl? She is out there! You will not find her in that vanilla girl you’ve been secretly hand humping to for years. There is also something to say about the “submissives” that target new, young, and therefore naive Dommes. I would like this kink to get back to its core values, and that is submissives who love to send unprovoked, and Dommes who love to receive. It’s become so convoluted with scammers and timewasters on both ends that real financial submissives are terrified to engage but I promise that fear can subside if you take a little time to look into who you’re potentially sending to. A quick checklist for you to think about:

1. Do they have verification? Meaning do they exist on a government ID necessary clipsite? Or anywhere outside of Reddit for that matter?Twitter selfies don’t cut it anymore.

2. Is there a conversation of limits/boundaries? After you pay a Dommes initial, depending on the dynamic you are after, there should always be a conversation. Does the Domme know what RACK is? Do you?

3. Are you looking for a Domme or a seller? Do you want to devote your time and wallet to someone or are you looking for feet pics and content in return whenever you send? Work that out for yourself.

I hope this helps whoever it needs to✨