My last relationship was in 2019; coming up on 5 years. Lemoncakes (my pet name for my ex) ended up leaving me for a sugar daddy which broke me into a million pieces. I don’t consider myself to be the most attractive, plus I’m extremely shy so dating is difficult for me. Since the breakup, I’ve tried dating apps but with no success.

In Feb 2023, I went to a coffee shop and met a really cute barista. She was a redhead so I called her Sunset (hair kissed by sunset). I thought she was EXTREMELY attractive and was infatuated immediately. As I was waiting for my coffee, we chatted; talked coffee, animals (cats), anime, art. I felt myself falling harder and harder. I left and came back the same day with the intention of giving her my number, but chickend out because she made it clear she had no interest in me.

Come March 2023, Sunset was stuck in my head. Rent free. I ended up coming across her Instagram (after some cyber stalking ofc) and tried to slide in her dms; shooting my shot. I messaged multiple times but she would never reply. I got so lost in the sauce that I began to think she was trying to secretly send me messages via her instagram stories (she wasn’t).

One day in April, she posts to her story a txt meme, something along the lines of: “I accept apologies via Cashapp”. So, the simp in me gets the bright idea of sending her money. Sunset is sure to notice me if I send her money. Send her $100, no reply. Little did I kno I opened the floodgates.

Over the next few months she starts talking to me, but not out of interest in me. This is when she begins to ask me for things “My camera broke, you wanna buy me a new one?” “Wanna buy my groceries?” “Pay for my SHEIN?” “Dash me food?”

I took no issue with this because my finances are stable. I have $X every month that I consider ‘Girlfriend money’. It’s money worked into my budget so if a cutie wants to go on a date or do something cute/fun, I have the ability to do so without it impacting me negatively. So my caveman brain thinks that if I get the things she is asking for, I’ll score Super Brownie Points and she’ll definitely fall for me.

June 2023 rolls around and Sunset starts posting pics of her and her boyfriend. I was crushed. She was posting pics of the two of them doing stuff in my city (we live 80 miles apart). I confront her about it, telling her my intent was to be her boyfriend but she brushes it off, all the while still asking me to pay for things.

Sunset finally revealed her intention to me yesterday (screenshot). 20 months in and I’ve spent a total of $10k on her. All I feel right now is discouraged and empty. I kno I did it to myself, but I can’t help but feel dejected.

TL;DR Looking for love, fell into a paypig hole