I've lived w treatment resistant depression since childhood. got very very severe in adulthood. ketamine therapy 🍄 extensive therapy massive lifestyle changes helped it shift for the first time last year, but exploring/embracing pantheism has brought me to a place of recovery that I never really expected to reach. (don't think I would have been able to explore it without all the other interventions, but hey, they're god too :) )

of course, it's a chronic illness, i'm realistic about my prognosis. but there's a feeling of awe or bliss that exploring this faith has given me that's just... unbelievable to experience. I get up in the mornings and I don't want to die. crazy stuff!

I suppose the core of it is that I don't feel alone any more. I'm not apart from the world. it's me, and I'm it, and I'm warm in its embrace. idk. life still sucks but I'm happy :)

wondering if anybody else has had similar experiences? keen to hear :)