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The 'application' of my sexuality
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I've lately been... I guess 'reconning' is a decent word, how I live and express my sexuality.

Backstory: Started as bi-curious. Learned I wasn't curious, but actually bisexual. Then learned about pan, and it seemed a better fit. As I've explored my attractions and learned about the newer/more-recently-clearly-defined language, I've come to find that "panromantic omnisexual" fits me well.

It strikes me some more context may be in order regarding my attractions. From a strictly anatomical sex perspective, I'd say my general attractions lean 60/40 female/male. That said, as I'm a big fan of either set of anatomy, I find anyone with a mix (either from surgery or expressing intersex characterisitics) attractive; however, as those with a mix tend to be on the trans/non-binary spectrum which I find more romantic interest in than cis men, it's hard to place how I feel about them in terms of a percentage.

As for romance and gender, I've tended to lean cis women, trans/NB, cis men (though lately it's been more trans/NB, cis women, cis men.

As a cis man, I've also been reconning with the patriarchy, the systemic sexism it thrives on, how it effects, well, everyone. Despite some occasional gender questioning, I also know I have to recon with how I interact with that system.

I've also been listening to a lot of the women and afab people in my life and learning about just how prevalent Men's shitiness is (note to the reader: Men has a capital M cause yeah hashtag Not All Men, but yeah). And that's been enlightening to hear, but hard to listen to, if you what I mean.

Herein lies the rub. I'm finding it tough to really embody the omnisexual/panromantic thing because of how rarely I find a cis guy I want to pursue a relationship with... Cause yeah, cis guys, by in large, kinda suck. I don't mean for this to be a post to dunk on cis men in general, because I know good ones are out there.

I guess I'm wondering... Are others who fall under the "pan" umbrella also finding it hard to either find, or be open to relationships with cis men? Is it hypocritical of me to have found myself having stricter expectations when it comes to them? Am I alone in having stricter expectations?

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1 year ago