Hi, new here.

I'm currently in a long-hetero relationship (we would've been married two years ago if it weren't for certain circumstances that delayed it). My dating history before this relationship is very limited, mostly because I don't have the confidence to pursue anybody romantically.

I recently realized that I'm ace, and it made me think if that's all there is to it. Aesthetically, I have a certain type - growing up to Japanese anime culture, they usually called it bishounen (pretty boy). I think the layman equivalent is good-looking androgynous boy with feminine features? Real life examples of that around me were quite rare. until I got exposed to the cosplay community.

Before that, there weren't really any females that fit my type. But with cosplayers around, there are quite a handful. I do have crushes in some of them, and I don't really care about their gender. I'm not sure if it's because I'm ace that I don't care either way. All I'm sure of is I'm crushing on them all the same regardless of what orientation they identify as. And, looking back, I had a similar crush on an anime character as a kid - Sailor Star Fighter from Sailor Moon - and back then I didn't care either that she was female.

So, the reason why this confuses me is because I'm pretty much monogamous. Without any opportunity to explore anybody romantically, would it be hypocritical to identify as pan?