[Please read as far as you’d like but don’t reach out unless you’ve read it all.]

We are an experienced ethically non-monogamous couple looking for a man or woman, 25-55, to join us for a very specific experience with just the wife.

Here’s the plan: We’ll book a nice hotel room and when you arrive, husband will let you in. Wife will be blindfolded and clothed. She will not have seen you before this, the blindfold will stay on during and she won’t take it off until after you’re gone. And just so there’s no misunderstanding, the plan is absolutely about sex. Lots and lots of sex.

A few things. First, it’s quite important that she never knows who you are. Second, husband wont be joining in so this isn’t a threesome at all. He’s there for wife’s comfort/safety and maybe, with permission, a few faceless pictures. Last, everyone has the ability to say no and stop at any point, no questions asked.

So at this point, if your immediate thought was something like, “Oh hell yea, I’m gonna fuck that slut so good in front of her cuck. Can’t wait to breed her and leave her.” Yea…., this ain’t gonna work. Good luck though dude.

And for the ladies, it’s good to be skeptical but we aren’t traditional unicorn hunters either. This will genuinely just be between you and the wife.

Back to the hotel room. Did you get excited about teasing her while you got to know her body? Did you think about you two taking time to explore each other through touch. Clothes come off in due time and you’re ok with that. Maybe 30 mins in, you compliment her amazing natural DD tits. An hour in, you get to feel how wet she’s gotten. Too slow? Too fast? Or just right?

Sounding fun? Keep reading then.

This is not just a stranger kink. This is about a sensory, sensual and sexual full body experience. You are not a human sex toy. You’re not any sort of itch to scratch. You’re an amazing person invited to be a partner in pleasure without any of the cultural artifacts around sight, identity, relationship escalators and body confidence. What awesome potential erotic energy does this unlock for you?

Still here? Great! That means the vibe still feels right.

Here’s the next filter. About you: Your relationship status doesn’t matter as long as you’re being ethical. No cheaters please. Nicotine/drug free, 420 ok. Be tested DF with proof. Be clean and well groomed. She genuinely loves cocks of all sizes but she does have a thing for huge balls. She loves a clean shaven pussy and curves of all sizes. She looooves a good kisser.

About her: So here’s the real truth. She’s not a sex vixen with a crazy nightlife and tons of kinky experiences. She’s just a huge nerd with a giant bisexual heart. A classic OC mom but with a stunningly deep lingerie collection. She’s the sweater and jeans wearing introvert. That was her that gave you a quick smile at Ralph’s. Bet you didn’t know she has 10min squirting orgasms. She is surprising in delightful ways. Photos in profile.

What next?

Send us a message. Write something that makes us believe you get what we’re all looking for here because now this is about you too. Tell us what you’d want from this. Send a picture or two of the real you; the husband knows her types. Remember, she may not see the pictures so if you want to be noticed, it’s going to have to be in what you write. [Use the word “pineapple” in your reply, please.]

The husband will filter responses and will reach out for vibe check. Then one coffee meeting with husband to discuss plans like adults (always play safe, consent is everything, your personal wants/likes, safety words etc). Then, if we feel good about things, we set up the night.

We’ve never done this before and don’t expect to do it often so we’re really sorry but we’re going to be selective. The good news is if you’ve read this far and are excited like us, you’re going to already be way ahead of the folks that never read and just message, “hey”.

We can’t wait to meet you.

TLDR; just kidding. Read the whole thing ya lazy butt.