my girlfriend & i are both 18F. we’ve been together for eight months & have known each other for a year. we’re very compatible in many ways, and we love each other dearly.

last night, my girlfriend and i were talking and she said that she sometimes worries about being too tied down for an eighteen year old; she loves me, but she wants to be able to do dumb, young adult things and learn from it. this included many things, sex being one of them. i agree with this, as i don’t want to feel as if i’ve not properly explored or experienced my early years.

my girlfriend said she doesn’t want to go into adult life having a body count of one, as she wants to be able to figure out what she does / doesn’t like. i’ve also never been able to figure out if i’m bi or lesbian, and have hopped between labels for a while now.

she’s a stone top, and often says that she feels guilty when we have sex; she feels that she’s using me. because of this, we don’t have sex a lot. i am a rather sexual person, and the lack of sex we have does bother me.

she links sex to unemotional attachments, and although i’m fairly sure i could have sex with others and have that be it, i’ve never been with anyone else, so it’s hard for me to say. i’m worried that i’d be hypocritical in enjoying sex with other people, but being jealous of her having sex with others.

we’ve both agreed that opening our relationship up would help our sex life; my girlfriend believes it’ll help her feel less guilty, and we’ll be more eager to have sex.

i do see all the benefits of having an open relationship. we agree that we’d stop the minute one of us feels uncomfortable, and this would mainly be on my terms, as she is the one who proposed it. she’s also made it very clear that it’s not something that would happen often for her (once every two / three months), and there’d be communication throughout.

considering its been just over 24 hrs since she has suggested it, i am very unsure. she’s not rushing me for an answer, and is happy to wait for me to come to my own conclusion, whenever that may be.

i see people saying how opening their relationship ruined things, but others saying that it makes them appreciate their partners more. we’ve been pretty clear on what boundaries we’d set (can specify if people are curious).

i asked my girlfriend how she’d feel if i say no, and she said she wouldn’t mind, but she would like to be able to explore and figure out who she is. i have incredibly mixed feelings; i see many pros & many cons in it, and it’s not a conversation i thought would happen.

i want to hear other people’s thoughts; we both agree that if we stay together long term, it wouldn’t hurt to experiment with others with strict boundaries. i know we’re young & it sounds idealistic, though.

what are other peoples experiences? do you think this could benefit or hurt us? thanks!