I literally showed up on her doorstep crying after a fight with her son. She is the best and commiserates over how hard he is to live with (undiagnosed neurodiversity). Then we talk about kids and she's adamant that two is easier because they play with each other but one needs you more and they are spoiled. She's a childminder and has many examples including her 3. I point out that her examples of onlies are all from divorced households with disengaged parents and that those children behave differently when competing for her attention in a group than they will at home. She agrees and then I say that if we are fighting and at the end of our rope now what on earth would it be like with a newborn? And she says that it is temporary, which I get, but a second kid isn't temporary? I'm just so confused how she can't see how terrible it would be for us. She has no idea I'm on a waiting list to see a consultant about sterilisation.