I'm a teacher who has been unhappy in the traditional classroom for a while. Covid was a nightmare, my admin team is not great. I know they're people, and I'm not vilifying them, but I do not feel respected at work.

A new opportunity came up to work with a population of kids I really care about, with better pay and better hours, and so according to my contract, I tried to give 30 days' notice. At any other job, they would have tried to get me to stay. Instead, they berated me for being unprofessional and threatened to give all of my work to a colleague who is already overworked. I panicked and rescinded my resignation after an hour of feeling like the worst person alive.

That was Friday. I haven't heard anything from any admin. I will likely be fired for trying to advance my career and leave a toxic workplace. I feel like a failure - I couldn't even quit properly. Teaching is a constant cycle of imposter syndrome. No matter how much I do or the effort I put in, it is unappreciated and doesn't matter and isn't good enough and there's always, ALWAYS more to do. I'm waiting for one of my bosses to talk to me about anything, but I don't know if they will. I let other people hype me up about quitting, but I feel so foolish. Maybe other people can leave teaching mid-year, but those people aren't at my school. I know my reputation within this community will be destroyed by my admin team if I leave.

I feel numb. I feel ashamed for even trying. I feel stupid for ever thinking I'd get out of this job. I just want to go home and cry. I feel like I'm going to throw up in the middle of class. I just wish they'd respect me enough to talk to me instead of letting me sweat.

My advice to people who want to get into teaching: please reconsider. Please recognize the lack of respect from the general community, but also your own colleagues, bosses, and mentors. This is a profession that can take everything from you and will if you aren't strong enough to resist. I clearly wasn't strong enough. I regret everything.