Hi, been here for quite a while and now I'm back.

I log into work in under 3 hours and the whole weekend I could not get work stuff off of my mind. I messed up a few things but didn't know about it till Friday, when I was on leave and accidentally saw the work messages between my team and the client. While my team might have handled it (I'm not sure), I have been petrified thinking about it and have thought about it all weekend.

Now I'm scared shitless to log on to work but it's something inevitable, I have to log in, that much I know. But I'm not sure what is it that I'm scared about but my heart and mind aren't able to see the bigger picture.

Could someone please tell me that work related fears aren't supposed to consume me like this? I definitely know I need help but I can't even visit a doctor about it because I barely get time through the week, took a leave on Friday to go see him but mf also took a leave that day.

I hate that I'm feeling like this.