Idk if it's social anxiety or not, but I have issues. A lot of them. Major ones. Been feeling like I was burnt out since before I started working 7 years ago because of how much I have served my family and it's all turned my brain to mush.

Fast forward to close to 2 months ago when I found the job at my dream agency and was so excited to begin, only for me to end up having a manic episode over one of my managers saying "when are you not fried?" upon telling her that I'm quite tired and if we can take it up tomorrow when she calls me 2 hours after I have logged off.

I wanted to join the company simply as a writer, not having to deal with anyone but one person providing me feedback on my work and new briefs that come in. One thing led to another and now I'm doing a bullshit client servicing job where I am the guy the clients call for new briefs and expects me to relay the work to my team and get it done.

Everyday I type in 20 different emails and talk to atleast 20-25 people on call and co-ordinate with them and somedays it takes a toll on me. Getting calls like "mail them this blah blah blah" and "why did you mail xyz something like that" everyday just pushed me to an edge I didn't know existed. Now I'm questioning whether to give this job up at my dream company (the people and culture are really nice, just the work that is hella stressful) and I'm not too sure if I'm cut out to handle that sort of stress.

Now I'm really questioning telling my senior to put me in a writer's position, away from all this so I can just talk to someone in my team for feedback and sending my work to the client.

All I know is that it's too difficult waking up everyday with either hella nausea, and I throw up too sometimes and crying everyday being too scared to spend the rest 11 hours of the day hearing and talking to other people.

I'm not too sure what to do. I already feel like I have lost all motivation and energy to work but I'm scared of letting go of this lifestyle that I have already. Giving it up would be too difficult.

Any thoughts? Please be nice and do not come at me saying how "this is what life is" or "others have it worse".

Thank you for reading.