I (19M) got rejected again today. I feel so empty, after thinking that she'd liked me back, thinking I'd done everything right, she said no. The word crushed my heart and I felt my knees shake as she walked off.

I'm not angry, she has every right to say no, I'm just overwhelmed with sadness. I feel like no matter what I do, no one will ever be that special someone, and I fear it more than anything. More than dying, more than the great unknown, more than anything I can possibly think of, I don't want to be alone.

Every rejection weighs on me like a rock in water. At first they're light, manageable, and I'm still able to float. But my head is barely above water now and I'm holding on as good as I can.

I don't even know why I'm writing this. I guess I just want to shout at the world and hope someone hears it, tells me it will be okay, and reassures me. I can expect the "You're young, you'll get over it" comments.

I'm so lost, I don't understand how to meet people. I've tried dating apps for so long but never even gotten a date. I was rejected all throughout high school, and middle school was the same. Coworkers, classmates, friend groups, no one. Not one time has anyone said they felt something for me, something special.

What does that feel like? To be wanted after, to be missed, to be appreciated, to be loved? If I could have one thing in the world, it would be love. Not money or power or fame could come first.

I just want someone. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Thanks for letting me scream into the void.