I am not native english, and typing in phone, so please excuse any errors i might make

So, two months ago my wife said she wanted a divorce. She doesn't feel anything for me anymore, and wants to sperate. I never saw it coming, she mentioned wanting divorce earlier, but said that if i would prioritize spending more time with the family, we could still go on. I do have 3 kids with here, and we have been 10 years together at this point, married for 4 years. Due to already being close to a burnout at work, this fully sent me i to sick leave. There is no option for therapy or anything, and because the housing market is shit, we are still living together.

At first she told me she would leave, hut after a while of her being unable to find a home, she wanted to stay in the house, and i had to leave, due to my higher income. We had a huge fight, and i left. But it was a second kick for me while already down.

Last sunday she told me that she was already in love with someone else, whom she met with while i was sitting at home with our 3 kids. And i currently just can't anymore. Our divorce isn't even signed, and she is already moving on. It just hurt so much, and I just don't want to feel the pain anymore. Every time i feel a little bit better, something like this happens to make me crash back down, and today i was contemplating ending it. The only thing keeping me is the idea that i would let everyone down again.

I just want to vent about it, i just feel so worthless, like the last 10 years meant nothing, and i am already replaced.

Yesterday i did kick her out, and we will be each spending the other week in the house with the kids. But now she thinks i am doing it to punish her because she has feelings for someone else, while for me it is more to give myself some space and peace for me and the kids, and because I don't want to sit at home, knowing that she us al giddy with other men. I am afraid her family, with whom i am still friendly, and even her brothers i am friends with, will hate me for kicking her out like this.

Sorry to ramble like this, i hope it is readable.