I’m not in crisis, and I’m not planning on doing anything to hurt myself, but the more I think about my life, the more I feel like I will inevitably take my own life one day.

I grew up rough. I won’t go into details, but it was ROUGH, and its affected me in adulthood. The experiences I’ve had have made me very empathetic, observant, and cautious.

They’ve also awarded me an intense fear of intimacy, abandonment, intense trust issues, an unhealthy perfectionist attitude, a sense of self hatred, antisocial tendencies, general loneliness, a tendency to sabotage friendships and relationships, I shut everyone out when I’m really upset, etc etc etc. My point is that I’ve got a lot of issues. Mental-health and in physical health.

I’m concerned that all of this will eventually lead to me convincing myself to end it all.

I feel like one day, I won’t be able to lie to myself anymore and say, “Its okay. I’m okay. If I’m not okay, its okay. Things will work out”