I wanna cry so bad, I want to let it out, I wanna just cry all night. It won’t come out, though. I’m so tired and so hungry but my body just can’t bring myself to do any of these things. The smallest part of me wants him to call and just tell me he loves me and that this is all fixable. It’s the smallest part that is louder than the rest. I just wanna see his face and hear his voice. At the same time, the dust is settling if that makes sense. I can put a face on and pretend like it doesn’t hurt, but it does. it hurts so bad. This hurts more than anything else. It’s so tangled in feelings and ideas. I’m so mad at him, but I’m so scared and alone. What did I do lynne? Was I that bad? I gave him every part of me, I tried so hard to put my heart back together every time he stepped on it and cracked it. I invested so much into him… and it didn’t mean anything to him. I let him in and he just destroyed everything and he doesn’t care. Was I not important enough? Was I not good enough? What was it? Because I was willing to overlook everything he’d done to me and give up everything to be by his side. Why didn’t he care enough? Why do I want him to call me and just talk to me?