Days like this I just want time to freeze so I can’t have more time to think.

I’ve finally had enough, I love him, but it’s not enough anymore. He has such a drinking problem and refuses to even acknowledge it and I feel like it’s the final nail in the coffin.

He’s maxed out two credit cards on going out and drinking. He’s choked me out while he’s drunk, and on the same night sexually assaulted someone else.

After that I completely stopped having sex with him. I couldn’t handle the idea of him touching me, let alone sleeping in the same bed together. Did he understand it? Not even slightly, he just kept pushing and pushing sex on me so I caved in and let him have sex with others so he wouldn’t be angry with me for not fulfilling his needs.

He stopped couples therapy two years ago, while I continued it.

He goes out to the strip club/bars/clubs with his friends and spends massive amounts of money till the earliest hours of the morning and expects me to be okay with it and not question him or what he does.

He says the meanest shit; “I’m only good for having d*cks in my mouth” “You’ll never amount to anything” “Nobody wants you.”

The part that I want to get off my chest is that, even though he’s hurt me in ways I never thought I’d experience and he’s the biggest asshole in the universe… leaving him feels like one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do in my life. Im scared, because I have no idea what I’m going to do tomorrow.