Im not even sure how to even start this off. Ive dealt with a shit ton for the past two years, and whole life in general. Ive been abused in every way by friends, family, teachers, whatever person you could think of that is supposed to be there for you and protect you. My mom, nephew, and brother died during these past two years as well, taking a large toll on my mental health making it worse than it already was. I deal with BPD, ADHD, Autism, gender dysphoria and probably something else i wouldn’t be surprised about. Ive been in and out of homes of family members because they don’t know how to deal with someone so fucked mentally. Ive attempted more times i can count on my hands and feet. I smoke weed and just wreck my life up like everyone says. My BPD makes me extremely exhausting and insufferable to be around, just as much as i am exhausted to have it. Im just a waste of space and a burden to everyone on this earth. I dont have many life skills because i no longer have parents, have been doing terribly in school and i dont think it’ll get better. Im extremely exhausted of living but im still here. My friend asked me last week if i died who’d miss me most? I’ll never stop thinking about that question, because i’ll never have an answer. Im such a fuck up that can’t even live life right. I dont even think ill live past 25, so whatever. I just wanted to get this all out because i really have no one to talk to that’ll ever understand how much i go through daily, just so everyone but me could have a great day. Im just suffering every single day. I wouldn’t wish any of this on my worst enemy. Its terrible.