I've been in weird headspace for a while now,like I have times when I'm super depressed and shit but other times,I'm numb and dead in side,then there's times I feel joy and feeling like a god or very stressed and feeling like shit ,lastly full of anxiety and doom,I go these moods back to back or sometimes it's day to day,etc I'm very Impulsive like overeating,undereating,staying up all night and sleeping all day,oversleeping,overstepping,unsafe sex with random people,overspending and buying shit I don't need,drugs(Hard),drinking,and porn I have no problem with lying,cheating,stealing, manipulate people or at least I don't feel guilty nor to point but small does I'm sex/porn who can't stay clean I mean I have done some fucked up in my lifeand I've been in some fucked up stuff that happened to I don't really have Empathy nor sympathy for many things I have a hard time forcing on stuff I don't like being around or talking to people but I do to a point I can't save money for the life of me I don't have the balls to ask for help for my folks and friends.I did used better help for a while I have panic attacks/mental breakdown time to time I've tired to suicide several times in my life I have dark thoughts time to time I don't know what the fucks wrong with me I just want to normal and healthy,not like this I don't mind my learning disability,speech problem nor my lazy eye The only thing that I bought me meaning was my job but we're cuase low on work I also smoke weed and do shrooms to cope and sex I mean I want to kill myself and die but I do,basically I feel like the beginning part I thought about killing you I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL Thanks for letting me venting I'll make edits to the post when I get input Edit:I get angry and Irritated fast