I hate having this come off as some kind of brag piece but I can’t get it off my mind. Yesterday I was rejected from my dream college; Pomona. I put in so much research time and effort, i visitors the campus, made plans, which idk maybe I should’ve waited. I put so much time into my personal statement and getting the interview and working my ass off for the past 4 years.

Thing is, I applied to La Verne college last second to just have a few back up plans, and I got in. With a $21,000 a year scholarship. Yet all I can think about is how I failed to get into Pomona. I feel like such a failure, like all my effort was for nothing. I feel like my life is out of balance and I hate the feeling.

Everyone always tells me about how smart I am and I never see it :(.. deep down I think I just wanted to validate it, to feel proud of something I accomplished. I wanted to feel elite and like I got elite recognition for my efforts. Sorry if this all comes off as pretentious I really don’t mean it to be. I’m just so down right now. I feel like such a failure.