We don't know each other as well as I feel like I should know you before saying that to you. But when you came to the bar today in your perfectly fitting hoodie that happens to be my absolute favorite color - and when we finally hugged again after weeks of not seeing each other, your touch and your smell (god, you smell so good) were intoxicating. I left my shame behind and tried to make eye contact from across the table whenever I could.

If only you weren't my boyfriend's friend.

I know we won't get past some flirtatious texts and intoxicating hugs, because I will never cheat. And I think you probably know that if you crossed that line, I wouldn't be interested in you.

I wish I could tell you how much my relationship is struggling right now. How it's a battle every day not to end it.

But most of all, I want you to know that you are beautiful. I want to hold you. I want to show you that not all men are after sex first. I want to make you smile and trust that you want to do the same for me.

We've lightly flirted for a while now. But tonight is the night that I realized the depth of my feelings for you. I know they're illogical. But even as I write this, my feelings of guilt are clouded by the hope in my fantasy... that maybe, one day, I could let you read this post.