i was just so angry with her and tired of it all. my whole life i tried to love her alcoholism away and fix her and after 16 years and her doing literally nothing but drinking, walking to the liquor-store, and passing out in our house (oh unless she couldn’t make it home as we would frequently get police/ambulance saying someone found her passed out and called). she’d call me from jail or a homeless shelter trying to talk to me and i would be so cold and purposely not tell her i loved her back.

i remember our last phone call. she told me she was in the hospital because she tripped on the sidewalk and hurt her back. she didn’t make it sound like a big deal, so i didn’t think it was and was very rude to her and brushed it off.

about a week later my dad gets a call from the doctor. they tell us that she did not trip on a sidewalk, she jumped (she claimed to have fallen, but a witness said she jumped and she threatened suicide often) off a 30 foot bridge. they had to do surgery on her back and there was a complication leaving her on a ventilator. she didn’t make it. and she died not hearing “i love you” from me for at least 6 months probably longe