…and I’m terrified. I’m relatively young for a vasectomy, so the only person I have to talk about this, since none of my friends have had one, is my dad. Our relationship isn’t the kind of father/son relationship where we’re that open with each other, and while he’s aware I had it, I don’t feel comfortable going into details about it with him. A few hours ago I found a hard lump just above my left testicle. I’ve never noticed it there before, and while it’s possibly a tumor, it’s very unlikely since I keep up to date with the boys. It seems like it’s either pooled blood or a sperm granuloma. I’m pretty scared at this point, but don’t want to talk about it with anyone except an advice nurse (which I already did). They just said to keep ice on my little guys and to start taking ibuprofen rather than acetaminophen. My concern, since my surgeon told me I should back to normal in 48 hours (it’s been just over 72 now) is that this could last weeks, months, or as is apparently true with some people, the rest of my life. I’m supposed to be able to go back to work at this point… I can barely walk around. So I need to vent. I didn’t research anything at ALL before the procedure, since I have severe doctor/hospital anxiety, and even then I was still uncontrollably shaking during the procedure. I can see how dumb that was: but I would have backed out if I had gotten too close of a look at what they’d be doing down there. After the procedure was over and I was back at home resting, I then decided to look into how it was done. While it was interesting, I also found a ton of information and stories from hundreds of people who have lost feeling in their members, experienced recurring pain during ejaculation lasting years after, and even had constant pain in the affected areas. I’ve talked to my partner about this, and she’s very supportive, but I’m getting the “bright side” approach, while what I want is to just be heard. That’s it, that felt good to type out.