I'm mostly writing to get some sense of my feelings right now, if anyone wants to vent about their own stuff please feel free to do so. Essentially; I'm stressed, feeling a little lost and very unsure of myself. 

I'm going to preface by saying I try really hard to never ask for hand outs and do things myself, but I'm human and like many I require assistance along the way at times. 

The backstory is quite long and complicated so I probably won't go into huge details unless someone reads this and asks. 

Roughly 14 years ago my parents bought a very cheap old house in our province's major city because we're rural, so when my sister and I graduated from high school us and friends could be roommates in this house for a cheaper deal than university student housing. Extremely generous and wonderful of my parents, rent was super cheap to basically just cover the mortgage and we'd all pay utilities/property tax/minor upkeep. I have not lived at the house for the full time but have been here (had my own apartment, lived in other friends houses prior.) for 8 years now, the last four have been by myself and prior to that my (now ex) boyfriend lived with me there for four years. 

This house is very old, and falls apart a lot, the maintenance is quite expensive. I've replaced the stove, fridge, the toilet and bathroom sink and furnace heating system myself, I recently had an expensive plumbing job that needed to be fixed back in February and I covered that as well. Two years ago the roof needed to be replaced and I was able to get a friend of a friend to do that at a much cheaper rate, my parents did cover the vast majority of the project but I did subsidize some of the cost.  Now my hot water tank needs to be replaced and my emergency fund has been completely cleaned out by the other plumbing emergency a few months ago as well as property tax payment in June. I've been trying to save up to replenish my emergency fund but I'm not there yet as I also have student and car loans I'm paying back (hence why I'm still at the house as I try to get myself debt free). 

I've always informed my parents of issues and they always say if I need anything let them know/they're always here for me. But I told them I don't have the funds to cover the full cost initially and would I be able to structure a payment plan back with them. My parents sent me some Google links to local plumbers and told me to work a payment plan with one of them. 

I just feel... hurt, and tired and stressed. I understand they have their own lives but part of having their life was having me. I don't want to be a burden, I hate asking them for anything. I know they also compare me to my sister who got married very young and she's been able to get her own house with her husband and have kids. My dad said last year he wants me to be married by 30 (I turn 30 next month) and I honestly feel part of that is just because he wants me out of is hair completely. But I don't want to marry someone just to be "saved". I want to be able to be financially independent and not have to rely on someone, I want to marry someone because I actually love them and not because I need them. 

There is a lot of back story I'm missing out here and I'm scared perhaps I'm an extremely entitled brat. I'm just feeling overwhelmed and uncertain how to go about things. I know I'll get it figured out, I always do, just in the moment it sucks when the people who say they're always here for you aren't actually here for you.