I accidentally killed my Lab of eight years this week.

I feel like a total piece of shit .

I rescue dogs. I have four rescues, three labs and a border collie. I advocate rescue adoptions over breeders and donate to the local shelter

I am single, m, 45, dog enthusiast.
I own a convenience store in a small town in Oklahoma. My dogs are with me 24/7.

I bring my dogs to work everyday, since I own the C-store , it's allowed... It just kinda happened since one of the dogs I rescued had separation anxiety, I decided to bring him with me to work, and I couldn't just bring one..so I bring them all to work with me...have done so for many years. It's very rewarding and the customers love it

My life revolves around my dogs and their life revolves around me... At work they all have their own beds, bowls and etc... All the customers visit and play with my dogs and my dogs are well behaved, they never run away or fight or get agressive...

At work they do their own thing...two are usually by my side at all times , one lays on the front porch greeting customers and the other lays back by the cooler on the tile floor to keep cool in the summer.

I never have to keep tabs on them at work...they never run off. They know the store is their home. I never worry about them at work.

The only issue that ever arises is that they always want to go with me, when I leave ...to go run errands, to the bank, on dates, to Wal-Mart, etc...they always want to be with dad. Understandable. ..

Sometimes I have to "trick" them...to go run errands by myself...which means I sneak out the back when they aren't looking or I feed them and sneak out when they are eating...

Most of the time I just take them with me..., And I leave the truck running with the A/C on as I run into stores or rub errands... Never had any issues.

I had just came back from a 4 day mini vacation and I had left my dogs with a dog sitter while gone...

The dogs are smart...they grow wise to my tricks and sneaking out without them and sometimes they shadow me or lay outside by the car so I can't sneak away without them .

This particular day was my first day back after being gone for 4 days from work and from the dogs .. so they were very clingy and acting sketchy cause they didn't want me to slip away without them again.

I had arrived at the store for an 8 hour shift I had scheduled myself to work to give my employees a break since I had been gone a few days and they had run the store by themselves ..

I had a bunch of stuff I had to bring into the store...so it took several trips to unload stuff and take it to my office.... I left the car door open in between trips to and fro the store as I was unloading my stuff.

I started my shift.... All was well.

Three dogs were viable, the 4th...the oldest and smartest.... Wasn't. But this was Normal... His usual spot was laying out of sight in the back of the store by the cooler where the tile floors were cool and kept him comfy....

After an hour, I noticed he wasn't back there... ..

I thought " oh, he thinks I am gonna sneak off again, he is laying out by my truck, to make sure I don't leave without him"... He was so smart...this was a usual behavior for him.

An hour later I began to worry... He hadn't come in for a drink , and it was very hot....

I go outside to check on him, he isn't by my car.... I think.." where has he run off to?"

Then it hit me.... He jumped back in the car when the door was open and I was unloading my stuff... , I never noticed.

I throw open the car door... There he is... I call his name... Nothing. I grab his collar and yank him towards me.... He is lifeless. I began mouth to mouth.... No avail.

He succumbed to the heat... He was trapped in the car for nearly two hours... He probably died in the first 45 mins... the car has near blackout tint....you can't see inside from the outside.

I broke down sobbing in the parking lot.... Somehow I pull it together and call another employee to come relieve me and finish the shift.... And I take him home to bury him ..

It was a terrible accident....but preventable. The blame falls 100% at my feet.

People in the community look to me as an example as a responsible dog owner and I feel I have let everyone down....but mainly I let down Achilles, my black lab that died.

I feel so guilty...I can't talk about it with people.

This post is the first time I have spoke or written about it.

I don't think I will ever get over this.

Not should I

I let Achilles down...

I deserve to be judged... So judge me

Tell me how horrible I am .

Just know I am so so very sorry and heartbroken over my baby... I am so sorry Achilles.

I hate myself