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I like to describe myself as extra and I know I'm 90% of pushing people away. But I woke up today and even though the past week or so has been mentally taxing today imma keep it simple. Just doing dishes and vacuuming then just hang out play games or watch movies later with my daughter. It's not the people I dwell on. I don't really have anyone. Especially people with kids around the same age as mine. My last relationship I know was probably not the best for either of us really if I'm honest. Im more upset that I lied to myself and ruined two friend ships and I actually introduced her to my daughter and they loved each other. I made things bad by overthinking and letting what I now know, we're trivial issues and problems. Most not even relating to us. I dunno I really just want some closure and be okay with each other. We both live within the same lil town and go to the same places. Now I'm legally not allowed and it's just kinda crappy feeling since just the past year I've been able to overcome social anxiety and actually making decent money. Now the only place that I felt comfortable and enjoyed going to. Even the grocery store. Not because I can't if she's there. But now my anxiety is almost crippling stoping in Walmart with my daughter thinking she might be there or come in and then it becomes a thing. I feel like a bad example to my kid. She's awesome maybe now it's just getting harder to connect with her I guess. I couldgo on for ever but I need to do dishes and clean a lil. I've asked before but it never pans out. Maybe 3-4 people want to hope a group chat or zoom meeting. Bullshit about nerd stuff or science. Sorry that was scattered and thank you to anyone that read it. Hope everyones day turns out to be amazeballs
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- 3 years ago
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