My grandma passed away about 2 years ago and I feel terrible for not spending more time with her. She used to live about an hour away from me and I barely visited her. She would always say you have a place to stay when you come to visit. When I was younger I was pretty rude to her and would do anything to apologize for that. I could check some of my emails to her and my attitude when I was younger was so terrible. Even when I graduated from high school she drove out to see me and I believe she called me and I probably ignored it, she then drove back home, missing my graduation. She was always so nice to me and showed nothing but love to me. She even spoiled me at times as she was pretty wealthy since she starred in some movies in Japan when she was younger.

When she got older, her brother's side of our family suggested that she moved back to Japan. So she did. I visited her once in 2017 and only spent a day with her getting lunch and dinner with my mom and my grandma's brother's side of our family. She is my dad's mom and my dad and I don't really see each other often. Our family relationships are not really close. When I saw her she was pretty happy living at the senior home her brother and his wife found in Tokyo. But after a year or so she had an accident where she fell and broke her hip I believe. They then found out that she had colon cancer. I did not want to believe that she was not going to recover.

My dad went and visited and I talked to my dad and her over the phone and she seemed to be doing alright. My dad later returned from Japan and I thought okay she is recovering. I then found out she wasn't doing so well and that I should go visit. I tried calling her but she was not staying in the room anymore so my calls wouldn't go through. I was about to graduate from community college at the time, so I figured I'll get a plane ticket to Japan after finals. I then get a call from my dad that she passed away. I wasn't able to see her and I still flew out to show respect, even though I missed her funeral because I thought I should return to be able to make my graduation. Looking back, I don't understand why I didn't just visit her earlier and why I chose to graduate from a community college instead of going to her funeral. I loved her very much and I hope she knew that. I'm sad I wasn't able to see her before she passed. I'm sad that when I was younger I wasn't always the nicest to her. I miss her.