My morning was spent helping an occupational therapist assess my grandfather's mental capacity and memory. It fucking sucks watching someone who was always so sharp your entire life start to float away. Moments of brilliance and sharpness, followed by blank empty stares. I hope that never becomes of me in my old age, but If I live half the life he has lived, then I can't complain one bit. Him being asked questions, and me not being able to help absolutely sucked. I felt so useless when he would look to me and I knew I wasn't allowed to help him.

It really wiped me out. As a result, I wrote the entire day off work apart from a few emails and an errand.

Made myself a nice lunch and thought I might meet up with the woman I've been dating, but she got busy and rescheduled for tomorrow. Kind of get the feeling that she's just not that into me, which is fine, but I'd rather know then be left guessing. I'm just going to be honest with her about how I feel, and ask he what she is expecting/wanting etc when I see her next. Feel as though I just don't have the patience to play around, and if someone can't communicate openly with me, it's just not a good fit.

I did end up going for a long walk though. Two actually. And I saw some ducks. Ducks are awesome haha. And now, here I am, home from my second walk, the darkness has just settled in as the sun tucked itself into the horizon and I've cracked a strong beer for the first time in a long time. It needed a home, and I was the perfect home for it.

For dinner, it's a frozen pizza from a fancy pizza shop that has figured out a way to freeze their delicious frisbees in an effort to stay afloat amidst the restaurant closures here. I'm happy to support them as I feel their pizzas support me emotionally at a far greater value than legal tender. Along with it, a caesar salad with a homemade dressing.

Today was weird for me. And who knows what tomorrow will bring, but after a strong beer, great pizza and long sleep, I'm hoping it'll be a good one.