These events take place over a year so is going to be long and my grammar sucks, sorry in advance. I will try to keep it down to what I feel is important.

My brother and I never got along as kids, we were 5 years apart in age and fought constantly. He got involved with drugs and shitty people growing up, that lead him to get into a lot of trouble when he was 18-22. He spent some time in jail that messed up his mental health, he developed major depression and anxieties to the point he couldn't leave the house because he was afraid people were constantly judging him. In 2013 I forced him out of the house and got him a job working with me so I could help him adjust, things worked out really well and within a year he was a completely different person, all of his anxieties faded away and he was generally happy.

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Everything was going well for him until 2018 when my Grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We lived in on 28 acres that my grandparents bought the land in the 70's, they gave my Dad a large chunk when my brother was born so we could be raised with them next door. We all chipped in to make my Grandmas final days as peacefully as possible, but when she passed my brother took it the hardest. I don't think he ever got over it. My Grandpa has become very bossy since then, there is no visiting him, as soon as you walk in the door he has a list as long as his arm of stuff to do and once your done he asks why your still there. Because of this mixed with his declining mental health he non stop calls and expects us to drop what we are doing to help him. My brother got the brunt of this since I had moved out and this broke him. Not only did he have to deal with my Grandpa with early stages of dementia constantly calling, but he had to walk into the place that reminded him of our grandma.

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He has been very unclear as to why, but as near as I can tell this made him turn back to drugs, namely meth. He pushed my mom away stating that because she has COPD he wanted to separate himself from her so he isn't so hurt when she dies. He became a total ass hole to her and would make her cry constantly, he became very paranoid and started thinking a coworker of ours was following him and reporting things to our manager. I was the only one he would talk to, but I didn't know the extent of problem until recently so I just talked to him about his depression. Around a year ago he fully snapped, I was at work when this happened so me and a coworker, who we can call D, rushed over to check on him. He was having delusions of seeing devils and hearing them growl at him (the growling was his phone vibrating) it took a long time but we eventually calmed him down and tried to take him to a therapist, but took him out when he started having a panic attack thinking he was going to be locked up again, we decided we would just try to calm him down for the day and try to get him help when he wasn't so on edge. He told us that he had been using meth, but he thinks his dealer cut his meth with bath salts and that's why he was seeing shit. He was so paranoid that everyone was devils trying to kill him at even day's later he would start shaking and crying if anyone other than me or D got near him, but even we couldn't get him to go get help. I wish now that I put aside what he thought of me and had him committed.

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Over the next few weeks him and D became close friends as she would drop everything she was doing and rush to his side, at the time I thought this was a good thing as I couldn't always be there. I knew D had her own problems as she is addicted to drama and cant seem to help but spread it where ever she goes, but she actually seemed to be helping him. Things seemed to be getting better until it came out that they had started up a relationship, this caught everyone off guard since she was 58 and my brother was very unattracted to her, he even said she looked like a "dried out old lesbian" and would leave the room when she would talk about the men she would see because he never wanted to picture her naked with out her teeth in. I tried to be as supportive as I could since I knew he was going through a lot and he was happier around her, but it weirded me out, not the age or anything, but it was like seeing a dog with a cats head or something. My mom on the other hand lost her shit and hated her since she was almost twice my bothers age and felt they lied to her when she asked if they were sleeping together, even though they claim they weren't at the time.

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After my brother got drunk one night and said he was going to kill our other coworker for making him become paranoid and "messing with D" (telling on her because she wasn't doing her job and making his difficult) I talked him out of it and into quitting his job since it was not good for his mental health to be around that guy and others. I also had to tell D that if she loved him she should do the same so they could have a fresh start in a healthier environment since even after he quit she would bring back drama from work (that she started) and would get him pissed off. She eventually did leave and they started their own contracting company.

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From the start D would say or do stuff that would piss my mom off, we think she did it intentionally as she loves drama and she would almost brag about how crazy my mom was at work. My brother had asked her not to tell anyone at work about their relationship, but her being her she told pretty much everyone and would even blow little things out of proportion. For example he let her have one of my grandma's ring but her retelling of the story was that he got down on one knee and that it was an engagement ring. Within a month everyone knew about it, but since my brother was still not all there mentally he took time off and didn't know about it until I told him. She denied somethings and said people were making things up, but I had multiple people all come up and ask me about the exact same details. They moved fast and my brother tried to move her into my mom's house (parents divorced when we were young, but she moved back on the family land in 2015, very odd I know, but my parents actually get along well now) . My mom would be the first to admit she did not handle this well, and they moved in to my Grandpas house since he had extra room. They eventually did get engaged and announced it by trying to force my mom to like her by D telling her "you need to get past this, I'm going to be your daughter"... that right, the lady who is older than my mom and knows my mom hates her said she was going to be her daughter.... My mom told her to get out of her house, but she still kept spout shit like that until my mom, even with her COPD was so pissed off by this that she picked her up and pushed her out of the house.

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My brother didn't take this well and would get drunk to the point that he could hardly walk and call and text me and my mom telling us he was going to kill himself because his 2 favorite people couldn't get along as it was driving him crazy so he was going to end it. My mom decided to swallow her pride and be nice to her to keep the peace, that lasted for about 3-5 months until a few weeks ago when my mom and brother got into a fight because she saw D kick a dog and she got pissed, she told my brother that if she ever saw her do it again she would kick her out of her house for good. Since then the fighting has been back on as well as drunken suicide threats.

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I don't know what to do. I don't even know who my brother is anymore. I cant stand D at all and have told him this after noticing that if we are ever alone for more that 3 minutes D always finds a reason to join us, I haven't been able to talk to my brother 1 on 1 for almost a year and know that she twist things to make her either look good or to be a victim. I learned recently that he is back on meth and they lost their biggest client because he or possibly the both of them were smoking meth in a customer house. They were making good money and wanted me to work with them, I refused since I knew I couldn't trust him to get jobs with him being an acholic, but now I know I avoided a huge bullet. My best friend passed away in 2017 and it feels like that all over again even though I know my brother is technically still alive, but I don't think I can ever have a relationship with him again, I don't even feel anything when I see text saying he cant take living anymore and is going to kill himself.

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TLDR" Brother had a mental break down after grandma's death and drug abuse. Because of that he developed a very toxic relationship with a older coworker. After a year of family issues stemming from this he is now unemployed, back to using drugs, and suicidal. Because of his choices and partner I don't feel that I know him anymore.