I lived out of state for 10 years. He never came to visit me.

This year, he and his wife let me stay with him when I had to come home from abroad due to covid. I paid rent. They asked me to change my plans and stay in MA, to be part of their future kids' life. They joked that I could watch the kids and they'd save on daycare. I liked this idea, because I don't want kids of my own, but do want to be in the life of some kids.

I agreed, found a place to rent near them. I babysit their dog. I put in effort to connect with them, get to know them, I feel very little interest in return.

I have brand new furniture in storage I don't want to part with, I bought last year. He is buying a 4bd house. I asked him if he could take the furniture, use and enjoy it for a few years while they save up to buy nice stuff for the whole house. I said I didn't even need it back until/unless I buy a house, which wouldn't be for 5-10 years. The stuff is very nice, neutral colors. Even offered to pay him to store it. We don't have parents or grandparents with a house. My grandparents house burned down when I was a kid. Not feeling like I have a home-base has been really hard, and yet, I feel claustrophobic by the idea of settling down in one place. When my brother started talking about a house I admit I imagined it as a family home, and that I was part of the family. I guess not....He seemed interested at first, but my SIL vetoed. He told me that they don't want me to feel like I have dibs on a room, that I can live with them someday because my furniture and a few boxes are there. For the record, I make enough to support myself and have never asked them for money.

I know I should get rid of the stuff but I have a bad memory and keeping some physical things from the places I've gone is important to me, and keeps alive the idea that I might have a home of my own someday to put the stuff in. To clarify, its not a ton of stuff, all of it would fit in a space 10'x10'.

Ok. Fine.

The way he sets boundaries with no empathy, no discussion, it just feels really obvious that they would like me in their life but are unwilling to do anything to help me out, and they don't really give a fuck about me or who I am or how I feel.

I am not staying in MA. I am not going to suffer the fucking winter to be closer to people who don't even want me around. I am not going to re-arrange my life to provide free childcare to someone who has made it VERY clear that they are not going to do anything for me they don't want to do. And I'm sure as shit not going to be available anymore to watch their fucking dog.

It seems stupid to keep it in storage indefinitely, I might save up for a house, or I might just travel indefinitely. I offered it to a friend who recently bought a house. I am also thinking about donating it to a refugee/asylum family or someone who wants to foster kids, because I can sooooo relate to the pain of not feeling like you have a home.

End rant.