The past week has been a very bad struggle for me. My parents let me move in with my grandparents at tge age of two cos I would cry and have seizures from getting so overwhelmed while with my mom and dad. From the start they've shown they don't love me, they would keep me in a single room all day as a small child, and would yell at me for any noise I made.

In the past ten years (I'm 19F), my parents have almost made my grandma and I homeless three times over drugs or faking cancer and stealing our money. They said to my face that they love each other more than me, but its my fault cos I chose my grandma.

This week:

They had disappeared after faking cancer, stealing thousands of dollars from us (almost resulting in eviction as we LIVE on a thousand a month), and stealing the car.

They got in contact with my cousin and visited him on Thursday. This hurts because even though I don't want anything to do with them, they still have always chose him over me. Even as a child they liked him better. They asked about me despite me asking before for them not to because it's not their business. They left.

I've been suicidal all week. I just want it to end, and it broke me when they said it wasn't their fault that I left.

Am I just not good enough? Maybe the voices in my head are right and I should just leave. I'm a waste of space is all.