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I’m (F 21) scared I’m going to feel like this for the rest of my life, like I won’t grow out of feeling out of place.
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It all feels so performative, all my actions, conversations and thoughts. Like I’m an idea of myself and that I never truly let myself be “me”.

Like I’m constantly portraying the latest iteration of myself that I feel like people will connect to and in doing so, I never connect with people.

Or those I do connect with, it feels like I’m always waiting for the pin to drop, waiting for them to realise that maybe I’m not all that they think I am.

That’s makes me feel uneasy but what truly terrifies me is the idea of me feeling like this for the rest of my life.

I don’t want to feel out of place until I draw my final breath.

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Posted
4 years ago