Starting off, this is gonna a be a bit of a long one.

I met a girl in a bar on my birthday (we’ll call her H) a few years ago, I told her, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen walk in, and it’s true. She was, no one had ever captivated me so.

It all went well, we kissed and she gave me her number.

We met up loads for weeks and weeks after, getting to know each other in all manners of respect, going on trips every weekend when we were free. Had cutesy nicknames for each other, into a lot of the same things, it was truly perfect. She came to my events and I was invited to hers

We were both really into each other. Like crazy into each other. We’d told all our families about each other, something we both say we never do for people we date. But we agreed we’d be casual for now before sticking labels on us. But we were exclusive.

Now, I had a crazy ex at the time who was majorly jealous and creepy stalker on my social media, she’d also previously lied about contraception and we had a kid together. Some way some how she found out about H. I have no idea how, all my accounts were private at the time so I really have no idea and she sent H a message with a load of crap in it. I hadn’t mentioned ex in much detail while in our deep talks with H. This was my first relationship after ex so I had no idea what to do or say about my child, I didn’t want to scare her off or anything, I’d planned on telling her once I built up the courage about it all, But H found out and was devastated. The message my ex sent was a mixture of the truth and then exaggerated lies.

H and I saw each other a little bit, she wanted to decide if she could forgive me, and she couldn’t.

In between all this madness, I had planned to tell her on our next outing, my true feelings about her, which in all is that I love her.

I’ll never get that chance now. By looks she hasn’t moved on with anyone, we’ve not spoken in 2 years and I ended up with someone else.

Thing is, I still love her. I think deeply and truly she may have been the one. I’ve never felt this way about a woman in such. I was always the one who just went along and said things when someone else did But H was different. I felt truly free to be myself, I got vulnerable.

I still love her, even now. My regret is not doing what I should’ve done in the first place, I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I wish I told her that I loved her. I wish she knew, but it is far too late.